Only if for the Night
by LilCorgiOne
Summary: UA: Castiel's sister is blasted out of heaven with little of her Grace left and her memories jumbled. Sam, Dean and Cas find her, but can they help her as the memories begin to warp into night terrors and handle the Trials at the same time? Blasts through season 8, personal ideas of season 9. Some Destiel, M for later chapters
1. Lost and Found

She held her neck tight, trying to keep the blood and air and the last of her light in. She had to get away. Had to get away now.

"Go ahead and run. It's all useless now" The one she had once loved so much, the one who she had trusted so much and put her faith in, now taunting and laughing at her panic.

"I believe in humanity" She gasped defiantly, jumping back as they lunged at her again. Even as her sight darkened and blurred, she could still see just enough to avoid the flashes of silver as she tripped and fell. Something hit her on her side and threw her a couple of feet in the air before she hit the ground hard. Her side hurt, her throat hurt, her arm hurt and now there was people screaming and hands on her shaking her shoulder

"Hey, lady, you ok? Someone call an ambulance! Don't be dead"

* * *

"Who was that?" Sam glanced up from the book he was studying for a moment to watch Dean walk back into the room. He had his chair balanced on the back two legs while holding himself in place with a foot resting on the table

"Sheriff Mills. She thinks she has a case for us at a hospital over in Denver" Dean shrugged on his jacket and started collecting the basics for the job and finishing his cup of coffee in one go

"You gonna share?" Sam prompted as he scribbled a note on a piece of paper in his lap

"Jane Doe, amnesiac, randomly showed up in the middle of the road and got hit by a semi"

"And this is us because, what, she survived getting hit by a truck?" Sam rolled his eyes and sat his chair down on the ground. Dean ignored him and walked down the hall to his room

"Cause she got out of it with a broken arm, totaled the front, and even though she can't tell you who she is or where she's from, she can speak at least 5 different languages" Dean called from his room. "And, get this. She's evidently been talking to people in their native language without even asking them what it is. She just magically knows"

Sam nodded as he noted his page and stretched out his back, rubbing his hands through his hair before standing. "So what's the plan? Doesn't exactly sound like a demon or anything bad"

"She said that Bobby told her to call us. That we should put her up in here till we figure out what's going on" Dean came back into the room and tossed his bag on the table. "Figured we say we're family or something. Get her checked out and bring her back here"

* * *

"So how're we doing today?" A happy, round faced nurse asked as she entered, bringing stuff that the hospital swore was food but she had yet to be convinced and a small cup of pills.

"_I do not like you. I do not like your face. You are evil_." She huffed in Vietnamese, crossing her arms the best she could with one being in a cast, and looking away from the nurse. Her eyes flicked black as she glared back, glancing over the woman's chart.

Jane Doe (Luna). 5'5. Caucasian. Dark brown hair, blue eyes. Comminuted fractures to the right radius and ulna, amnesia, psychiatric break (claiming to be an angel, distortion of faces, obsession with the moon). Psychiatric hold UFN. BP, HR, O2: normal.

The nurse shrugged, looking at the hundreds of sketches of the moon that covered her bed before pushing them unceremoniously off the side and putting the meal table over her

"Look Luna, I don't know who you are, but you better damn well like me. I know what you are and could have killed you the minute you showed up. But I don't feel like rocking the boat any more than it already is rocking, lady"

"_My name is not Luna. Why does everyone continue to call me such? And we are not on a boat"_ She replied in Vietnamese again

"Would you just shut it!"

"Hey, there's our cousin! You gave us a scare with that truck" Dean walked straight into the room like he owned the place, pushing past a few of the other nurses who were trying to slow him down. Sam was right behind him offering hollow apologies, babbling some story about how they hadn't seen each other in a long time and that they'd straighten everything out in a bit.

"I do not know you. I have no cousins" The fallen angel tilted her head to the side. "Who are you?"

"Sam and Dean Winchester. This day is just getting better and better" The nurse grinned, her eyes turning black once more as she locked the door behind the brothers. Cursing, Sam quickly begins to recite an exorcism, stuttering miserably as he tries to block the demon's attacks. The angel, who was cowering in the corner Dean had dragged her to standing guard over her, jumped suddenly as a memory effectively snapped into place. Pushing past the man as if he wasn't there, she grabbed the possessed nurse by neck and pinned her to the wall, reciting an exorcism herself in enochian. The demon's mouth and eyes glowed for a moment before they both collapsed to the ground, the demon dead and the angel unconscious from exertion.

* * *

She woke up two hours later disoriented and within a moving contraption she didn't recognize. She flailed for a moment until someone grabbed her arms and carefully but forcefully held them against her side

"Hey, Luna, calm down. I'm Sam. You're in a car. We're taking you somewhere safe, away from demons" Sam smiled next to her, slowly raising his hands and pulling them away to show that he meant no harm

"My name is not Luna" She whispered, wincing at the dull ache in her broken arm. "What happened? Why am I not in the hospital?"

"You killed the demon that was acting like a nurse and then passed out" Dean piped up from the front, glancing up in the rearview mirror. "Good on ya back there. That was pretty sweet"

"I do not like killing" She looked out the window, craning her neck up to see the sky. Even though it was mostly covered in clouds, she still knew where the moon should be located which she took comfort from. It was one of the few things she could still remember.

"So, uh" Sam cut in quickly, trying to get the conversation back on track, "Your charts at the hospital said that you claimed to be an angel, but you don't really remember anything"

"I am. I am an angel of the Lord. I was cast out for believing in humanity" The fallen angel stated before faltering, her face twisting in confusion as she tried to remember more "And my brother did not save me"

"Do you remember his name?" Sam prompted after a moment of silence. She shook her head

"No."

"That's real helpful" Dean muttered as Sam hit the back of his head

"He always liked humanity." She said after a while, becoming animated once more as a few more memories slid into place "He would bring me here now and again to show me your new tricks. He was so proud when you learned fire. My brother and I were born on a Thursday" She looked over at Sam and grinned, proud of herself for remembering something. She was just like Castiel when he returned to earth after the Leviathan, Sam noticed with an uneasy smile. So why was she here, now, without any clue of what is going on?

The brothers looked at each other through the mirror and realized they were both sharing the same thoughts. Nodding slightly to one another, Dean hit the gas. _Cas_, he prayed silently, _you better get your feathery ass over here. I think we have one of your sisters, and she's hurt pretty good._

* * *

Everything was white. Too white. Fake white. She couldn't move her body even as her head fell to her chest.

"Think we should get her inside?"

"Might as well"

There was blood on her clothes. She couldn't get enough air. The light was hers. She couldn't lose it. Her neck hurt. Her body hurt. She couldn't move.

"Hey, come on"

Something was grabbing her. Shaking her. She tried to cry out but she couldn't make a noise. Just bloody foam in her throat.

"Go ahead, I'll get her"

"_Go ahead and run"_

Luna woke with a start, grabbing the hand on her shoulder to shove him away. Her strength was leaving fast so she could do nothing more than push Sam slightly off balance as she scrambled away from him. Closing her eyes, she tried to fly away from this new cage but was only able to get a few feet away before slamming into the cement wall around the compound and collapsing onto the ground in a new wave of exhaustion, pain shooting through her back. Curling into the fetal position, she whimpered as she heard the brothers running towards her

"Shit, Luna, you alright? What happened?" Sam yelled, pulling the fallen angel up from the ground to rest against the wall

"Please stop. Please" She begged desperately, grasping her throat and writhing in pain. She was becoming weak, extremely weak, and she began to hyperventilate

"Hey, hey. It's ok. I didn't mean to scare you. I was just trying to wake you up" Sam hugged Luna to his chest and tried to calm her down. Dean watched the two of them as he ran a hand through his hair nervously

"Come on, Luna. You're safer inside. Only our friends know about this place. No one'll hurt you, I promise. I can, uh, I can get you some stuff to draw with. Would you like that?" Dean offered as he knelt down in front of them and took her hand away from her neck. Luna nodded slowly and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, following numbly until she was sat on a couch and a glass of water in her hands. She sipped at it to wash the memory of blood from her mouth before she began to speak hardly above a whisper

"I can remember parts. I was never a warrior. I studied to be a healer, but I was not very good so I was assigned to other duties. For a time I studied under the Scribe, but I was reassigned to the galaxies shortly after. Brother was the warrior, assigned when we were older to a garrison on earth. But whenever he would come back, I could never heal him and he would always leave and do it himself. In peace he would bring me to earth to see the wonders of this planet. He always preferred the Neanderthals and their poems, but as his twin I always chose you Sapiens. Their battle, their pride and sureness always reminded me of him. So when the Neanderthals died out, I begged my superior to cast their poems into the stars for all to see, that maybe it would be something that I could do right for him. He was so happy. Told me to never worry, that he would always protect me.

"And then this war came to Heaven. We were ordered to choose a side. We were either with Heaven or we were with Humanity. Father had commanded us to love humanity, but how could we turn our backs on our brothers and sisters? My brother, he told me to run. To hide, to not worry. That he would protect me. And I believed him. I hid among my brothers and sisters and ran when I could. There were so many who died. So much death.

"And then I was found. Commanded to choose a side. I was afraid; I did not know what to do. Brother was not there like he said he would be, and I had never fought before. So I did what I thought my brother would do. I chose humanity"

"And you were cast out" Sam spoke up after a moment, glancing up to Dean who stood in the doorway with the promised drawing supplies. Dean took the momentary pause to set the sketch pad and pencils down in front of Luna and to sit across from her. She smiled her thanks before nodding at Sam. When she began speaking again, her voice was even softer than before, forcing the brothers to lip read to understand what she was saying

"They took my grace. As punishment for running. They said that if I had stood up for my beliefs, then I would have been put down not unlike humanity does with an animal that has outlived its usefulness. But now I was to be used as an example to all who believed like me. Who put faith in our Father to come rescue us. To prove that Father was gone and that he no longer cared about his own children. To show that not even my brother would save me. I was able to escape with a few fragments left, but they are broken. They took his name from me. I am losing my powers."

"Dean. You said you knew where one of my sisters is. Where is she?" Castiel demanded as he appeared behind the couch, causing Luna to shriek and fall off the edge she had balanced herself on. Castiel moved quickly to see to the woman who had fallen before freezing. "Levanael?"

She looked at him confused as she carefully sat up. "_Esiasch_?" Levanael gasped in recognition, scrabbling to her feet to throw herself into Castiel's arms and holding tight to his chest. He hugged her just as hard in return before holding her at arm's length, worry crossing over his face as he placed two fingers on her forehead. Her cast disappeared in a flash of light before he rested a hand on her chest, his eyebrows knitted in confusion and fear

"_You have been injured. We must take you back home_" Castiel replied quickly in enochian without fully realizing it, leaving Sam and Dean to stare at them in awkward confusion

"_But we cannot. I have been cast out. They will kill me if we return_" Levanael explained, her hands continuing to hold him in place

"_Then I will protect you_" Castiel's voice turned dark as his eyes began to glow with fury, his sword materializing in his other hand. Dean yelled out a warning as some of the light bulbs surrounding them began to burst, but it was lost of the angelic siblings

"_No, please. Brother. I beg of you, do not do this. Do not war for me_" Her eyes began to fill with tears, her hands quickly grasping his wrists and shaking them. "_Brother, why were you not there for me?_"

Castiel's sword dropped from his hands in shock. After a moment he raised his hands to either side of her face and offered a sad smile. "_Forgive me, Levanael. I should have never left your side. But your grace is weak, it is failing_"

"_You promised me you would protect me._"

"_I am sorry, sister. I am so sorry" _Castiel whispered, hugging her tight to his chest again. Dean could have sworn Cas looked like he was about to cry

"_I stood by what you always taught me. What I believe. That humanity is worthwhile. I stood by humanity when they asked me. I did what you would have done, and I was punished. To become what I have chosen"_

"_**You fell because of me**_?!" Castiel roared in his true voice, causing all three of them to cover their ears and cower from the onslaught of shattering glass. Castiel faltered, stepping back in fear as his sister scrambled back and into Sam's arms

"That's enough Cas!" Dean yelled, grabbing his friend's arm and forcing him into another room, slamming the door behind them.

"What were you speaking in?" Sam asked after a moment of awkward silence, both of them looking towards the wall that was muffling Dean and Castiel's yelling voices

"Our first tongue. Enochian. I have been told that I speak to everyone in their first language. I do not know why though"

"What were you talking about?"

"Brother wants to take me home. I told him that we will be attacked if we do and that I do not mind becoming mortal."

Sam nodded slightly before freezing in shock, about to question her when the door smashed into the wall and Dean stormed through the room, kicking a chair out of the way to splinter against the wall before grabbing his keys

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, motioning for the others to stay where they were as he ran to catch up with his brother who was taking the stairs two at a time

"Out. We need some fucking light bulbs." Dean growled before slamming the next door in Sam's face. They both looked back at Castiel who was seething as well in the doorway

"Cas,"

"Not now Sam. Levanael," Castiel started, walking to her side and reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder

"_Brother, please,_" She whispered, stepping back from him to look up with tears in her eyes. "_I do not even remember your name_"

Castiel looked over her for a moment, nearly every range of emotion he had ever felt flickering through his mind before he settled on acceptance. He nodded slightly as his hand slid down her arm; guiding her back to the couch and sitting close beside her. "_Castael_. Show me your wings. Allow for me tend to them while I tell you everything"

"Won't that blast out everything? Showing a part of her true form?" Sam questioned nervously

"No. I am one of the lowest level angels." Levanael explained as she carefully unfurled her broken wings. The main bone structure was still intact, but there were a number hairline fractures in the smaller bones and many of the feathers had been broken or bent in her panicked escape from the car. "In your history, the stories of many seeing angels with wings that looked like birds, those are angels of my level. We tended to stay at home, but we would be assigned certain tasks on earth, and we were granted permission to show our wings so that they would know that it was Father who had spoken"

"It takes some energy, some of our grace, to keep our wings hidden. It is no different than the energy it takes for you to sit up. But as she is already weakened, I do not wish for her to use any more than what she must" Castiel explained as he passed his hands over the bones to set them properly. He then began to straighten the worst offending feathers, fixing some that had been bent at odd angles while carefully removing others that were simply too mangled to be saved.

Sam was only vaguely aware of the fact that they had begun speaking to each other in hushed tones, and of the fact that his mouth was hanging open which was extremely rude. From their experiences, Sam had always assumed that angel wings were white, and then were seared black from the explosion that follows an angel's death. But now he could see that they were nothing like he could have ever imagined. They were almost like a parrot's wing in that every level of the feathers were a different color, and Levanael's started with a lavender purple at the top, then a light robin's egg blue, then a rich deep evening sky blue, to end in silver. Once Castiel had gone through and corrected the worst of the damage, he began with the wing closest to him and began to go over feather by feather. He ran each one through his fingers to realign any barb that was out of place before carefully nesting it back into its proper place and moving on to its neighbor. It vaguely reminded Sam of when he and Dean were children and Dean would wash his hair for him, taking care to not get any of the suds in his eyes. Gathering his wits back around himself, he forced himself to go back outside the bunker and wait for his brother to get back. Hopefully he would have calmed down by then and they could talk


	2. A Game of Chance or Skill

The new routine was amazingly easy to fall into. Castiel and Levanael had quickly reconnected after apparently several thousand years of being apart as well as getting her earlier memories sorted out of the two of them as they were growing up. From what they could gather, whoever had attacked her had twisted her memories in such a way to try and make her hate Castiel, and at least the guys were pretty sure who to blame. Though no one could figure out why she could only speak to people in their first language, and the warping of her memories had started to give her severe nightmares.

Levanael, now Levi, Leva, Lava, or Luna depending on the brothers' mood in the moment, would help with research by writing down translations for different texts, as well as coaching them with pronunciation of new spells. They had universally decided that she shouldn't leave the bunker as her wings were now consistently out, something that Levanael had passed off as enjoying the attention she gained from the brothers but secretly she was afraid of losing the last few shards of grace she had been able to cling to. She was holding on to them in the event that something major occurred, and a year or so of hidden wings wasn't it.

Sam or Dean would stay at the bunker with her, showing her different things that she learned quickly went with their personalities. Dean taught her basic self protection and weapon safety, Sam taught her how to use a computer. Dean taught her how to cook, Sam taught her a few sports. In turn Levanael taught them a few healing spells and potions, as well as about different constellations and galaxies. Sam was much more into the space chat than Dean was, which lead to the two of them often out on the roof on clear nights while Dean would stay in and work on fixing an old guitar he had found on a hunt.

Castiel cleared his throat to warn Dean he was in the room as Dean wandered around, working on tuning the guitar by ear

"Hey man. What's up?" Dean smiled, glad that Cas was learning how to not scare the shit out of him. He lightly plucked two strings together before tightening one and testing it again

"I suppose you could say that I am scared about Levanael" Castiel admitted, looking around before sitting down at the end of a couch. "Her grace is not healing as it should be. It was weakening before, but now it has stabilized"

"Isn't that a good thing? That it's not getting worse?" Dean paused, looking over at Cas who shrugged

"It is not getting worse, but it is not getting better. I suppose it would be like a broken limb for you. It is not breaking more, but it is not healing either"

Dean nodded slightly, watching his angel slowly deflate as he opened up to him. Finishing the last two strings, Dean sat beside Cas with a bounce and tried to cheer him up some. "Don't worry, Cas. We'll figure out something. She'll be fine! She has you, me and Sam. And we stopped the Apocalypse!"

"This is not like Anna. She removed her grace on her own accord. Levanael had it ripped from her in such a way that it is now shattered and cannot be put back together" Castiel mumbled, resting his head in his hands. Dean sighed before plucking out a song from memory. Working out the first couple of chords, he practiced them a few times before he began to sing

"_**Someone's always coming around here, trailing some new kill.**_  
_**Says, 'I've seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill'.**_  
_**And what's a game of chance to you, to him is one of real skill.**_  
_**I'm so glad to meet you, Angel**__._"

Cas looked up from his hands at Dean, who was smiling gently back at him. He had never sung in front of anyone else, but girl moment be damned, he was going to cheer up his angel

"_**Picking up the ticket shows there's money to be made.**_  
_**Go on and lose the gamble, that's the history of the trade.**_  
_**Did you add up all the cards left to play to zero,**_  
_**And sign up with evil, Angel**_?"

Cas cringed at the memories of Crowley and his betrayal, opening his mouth to challenge but was cut off by Dean once more

"_**Don't start me trying now**_  
'_**Cause I'm all over it, Angel.**_

_**I could make you satisfied in everything you do.**_  
_**All your secret wishes could right now be coming true**_  
_**And stay forever, with my poison arms around you.**_  
_**No one's gonna fool around with us.**_  
_**No one's gonna fool around with us.**_  
_**So glad to meet you, Angel.**_"

"Thank you" Castiel whispered with a grateful smile. Dean lifted the guitar strap over his head and sat it down on the table before wrapping his arms around Cas

"Babe, don't worry. We'll figure out something. We always do. We watch over family. You're family. Leva's your sister, which makes her family too. It'll be ok. I promise" He reassured Cas before leaning in for a gentle kiss. Ever in his nature, Castiel quickly turned it into something more passionate, slowly pushing Dean down onto the couch and stripping him of his shirt, allowing the angel to lay on top of his beloved. After a few minutes, Dean was forced to pull back for air, grinning like a teenager as he ran his fingers through Cas's hair. "I wish I could see your true wings though. Just once"

"It would be comparable to looking into the sun for you" Castiel allowed Dean to guide his head down onto his chest. His head bounced slightly as Dean chuckled

"We can look at the sun for a little bit without hurting our eyes. It's just looking at it too long that hurts"

"I do not wish to hurt you, Dean. You least of all people on this earth." The angel lifted his head and looked up at his human, who had one of his cocky grins that Cas had learned far too quickly meant that he would not win this argument

"Cas, baby, you know I'm stubborn"

"It would not burn your eyes out, but it would instantaneously cause you to go blind. The answer is no." Castiel stated before resting his head back on Dean's chest with a little more force than necessary. Dean laughed it off as they laid there in comfortable silence watching some crap late night talk show, slowly passing his fingers through the angel's hair until sleep took him. Castiel carefully lifted himself from the couch and laid a blanket over his lover. His good mood disappeared the minute he heard Sam come in from the roof and saw him cradling a limp Levanael to his chest

"What happened? Why did you not call me?" Castiel hissed as he rushed them. Sam instinctively curled his body around the woman in his arms as she murmured something in a random language

"Cas, chill. She just fell asleep. It's like three in the morning. She's tired" Sam tried to offer a convincing smile but failed miserably

"Angels do not-"

"Need sleep. I know Cas. Look, you've slept before when you were injured. We'll figure something out. She's safe here. I know it's been two weeks now, but you've got to relax"

Castiel nodded, placing his palm against her forehead to slip her into a deeper sleep before stepping back. "I have some business to attend to in Heaven. I will report in to check on her" With that he disappeared, flapping his wings to make it appear as if he had left but instead turning himself invisible to watch over them for a little while longer.

"Goodnight Cas" Sam sighed, walking over to the couch and nudging Dean awake with his foot. "Dude. You were so excited about getting your own bedroom, and you sleep on the couch?"

"Shut it hippy" Dean muttered as he rubbed his face, turning off the tv and helping Sam navigate to Leva's bedroom. Dean mumbled something before heading off to his own room, passing out again the moment his head hit the bed. Sam stayed to tuck the fallen angel in, watching over her for a minute before sitting on the side of the bed and looking up. Castiel's curiosity got the best of him as he slipped into the room, putting himself in the far corner so he could easily see everything

"God, I know I'm shitty at praying and all, but come on man. You gotta give us something here. Yeah, I get it, I'm not one to be asking for any more favors. I know. But it's one of yours, man. It's Cas's sister for fucks sake. Do something. Anything" Sam begged, putting his hand protectively over Levanael's. After a minute of silence he shook his head. "Yeah, figured. Just, if you're still there God, please do something. Somewhere. Even if it's not for Levanael. It's getting pretty screwy up there. Everyone needs a sign. Even the angels"

Sam shook out his hair as he stood, giving the room a quick once over before leaning over Levanael once more. "Goodnight Levi" He whispered, kissing her temple and turning off the light as he shut the door. Castiel uncloaked himself for a minute, watching over his sister before leaving to find the bastards who had done this to her.

* * *

A loud bang against the bedroom door and a shriek woke Dean with a start. A few more muffled thumps and the sound of Sam laughing calmed him down enough to quickly change into fresh clothes, running his hands through his hair a few times before calling it good as he made his way down the hallway

"The fuck are you two doing this early?" Dean moaned, blindly walking into what was more or less the living room.

"It's two in the afternoon" Sam laughed breathlessly, chasing after Levanael who was sliding around in a pair of socks. It took Dean a moment to realize that she was also dressed in one of Sam's old shirts which had been altered in the back to allow for her wings to pass through. It took another minute to realize that they were both sliding around the compound in socks, Levanael using her wings as a natural extension of her arms to keep her balance as they raced around the furniture and slid into random objects like kids. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Sam this happy

"You guys are idiots" Dean shook his head and went to get a cup of coffee. He thought about putting a shot of anything in it, but he had promised Cas to cut down on the drinking. Dean wandered back into the room with the two morons just in time to watch Levanael tackle Sam into an awkward pile on the couch. They grinned at each other until the angel slowly pulled her wings back in confusion about the obvious kiss that Sam was reaching for

"Hey, Sammy," Dean said in his friendly get-your-ass-over-here-now voice. Sam sighed as he sat up, Levanael moving away from him as her wings flitted nervously to her back. She watched the brothers as they attempted to speak in hushed tones so she wouldn't hear their conversation, which they were failing miserably at

"Are you really?" Dean hissed at Sam who immediately rolled his eyes

"What, I'm not allowed to like anyone?"

"Don't even start that. You know what I mean"

"No, Dean. I don't" Sam spat, crossing his arms and glaring back at his brother

"She's sick. She's not getting any better. Cas is worried sick over her and you're here all-"

"What, we're all supposed to sit and pout and do nothing while Cas looks for a cure? That's what you're saying?"

"You're-"

"Then what, Dean? Is it that she's an angel? That only you're allowed to be with an angel? Or is it because she's becoming mortal? Cause-"

"She's what?" Dean cried, the obvious shock on his face stopping Sam in his tracks. "She's becoming mortal. And you didn't think of telling me that?"

"I thought you knew. I thought Cas had told you"

"No, Cas said it was like a broken arm that wasn't healing. Not an arm that was falling off" Dean snapped, walking back into the living room where Levanael was visibly upset over their fight. "Why didn't you tell us you were turning mortal?"

"There is nothing that you can do here on Earth. Castael is looking for answers in Heaven, but so far there is nothing" Levanael stood carefully from the couch and started making her way towards Sam's side

"Do you even know anything about him?" Dean exploded, catching the other two by surprise. "Like how he drank demon blood? Or how he's Lucifer's vessel? Or how he was in the cage, and then escaped and was soulless for over a year and just let me continue thinking he was dead because he thought it was a good idea at the time? How he thinks he knows better than everyone-" Dean's voice got louder and louder until Sam's fist connected with his face. They immediately started fighting, fists and legs flying as they tumbled on the ground. Levanael ran to a corner to hide as she prayed silently to her brother to come immediately

In a flash of light Dean and Sam were separated and pinned to opposite walls, Castiel fuming in the middle of the room with his arms up at either side to hold them in place. "You children will stop this now." He demanded, glaring over at Dean who began to protest his order. He immediately stopped squirming as Levanael rushed to Castiel's side. "Are you alright?"

Levanael nodded and Castiel released the brothers. They both dropped to the ground gasping for air. "What is the meaning of this?" Cas growled as he stepped forward to demand their attention

"Sam's taking advantage of Levi!" Dean yelled as Sam started to curse. Castiel snapped his fingers and they both lost their voice

"Levanael," The angel's voice was amazingly gentle as he turned to face his sister who was now shaking in fear. "I am not angry at you. What is it that they are fighting?"

"_Sam wishes to court me. Dean does not agree with it and did not know that I was becoming mortal. He believes that Sam is taking advantage of me_" She explained softly, wrapping her arms around herself in a hug as she brought her wings around to shield herself

"Do you wish to be courted by Sam?" Castiel asked, flicking his wrist to give the brothers their voice back. They glared at each other but kept silent as Levanael shrugged just enough for the angel to see

"_I do not wish to be here anymore_" She whispered to Castiel, who nodded and placed his hand gently on her shoulder, flying them off somewhere quiet where she could collect herself


	3. Place to Rest my Head

"Hello boys." Levanael had convinced Castiel to imitate someone else's voice when they returned to the compound, and he had just happened to choose Meg's. The angelic siblings were trying not to laugh at how Dean had reacted, falling over himself and snorting beer up his nose

"Fucking damn it Cas! Son of a bitch!" He coughed, storming off to get a towel to wipe his face. Dean glared at the two of them as Castiel attempted to play innocent

"It was Levanael's idea" He gestured over to his sister, who was wearing Castiel's trench coat. It was at least two sizes too big for her, and while that allowed for it to cover her wings easily, the sleeves hung a couple of inches past her hands. She grinned in return as Dean rolled his eyes and sat back down on a stool

"Where've you guys been these last two weeks? Totally could have used some help around here"

"Antarctica. Levanael enjoys the aurora australius"

"And the penguins. They have no natural land predators, which allows for their natural curiosity to show" Levanael added, looking around the compound in slight confusion. "Where is Sam?"

"About that." Dean sighed. "While you two were playing with birds, Kevin's finished translating the first trial of the demon tablet"

"Castael?" Levanael questioned as her stomach dropped, glancing quickly over to her brother who silenced her

"And?"

"And your precious little moron started them" Dean waved his beer bottle at Levanael. Those who had attacked her hadn't thought of removing the memories of working with the Scribe. Although she could not tell you the details of the trials, she knew what they did and how they ended.

"Where is he?" She ordered, her wings flaring up under the coat. They both looked at her in confusion as she shrugged off the now constricting trench and fluffed her wings

"Uh, yeah, he's in his room. He's got a cold or something right now…" Dean and Castiel traded confused glances as Levanael rushed to Sam's room, catching herself just before she barged in to knock on his door. Opening it, she peered in to see Sam sitting on the side of his bed, holding a tissue over his mouth as he coughed. His eyes and nose were red like a normal human cold, but the cough sounded wrong. Too dry yet too wet at the same time. She could see through his body as well, just like she could see demons and partially through her brother's vessel, and she could tell that there was something off. He was damaged. Not in a sickly sort of way, but wrong. Very wrong, like a crack that was beginning to form.

"Sam?" Levanael closed the door carefully behind her. He grinned at her as he threw away the tissue and pushed himself up. She tried to return the happy gesture, but her nervous wings betrayed that something was wrong. Sam immediately picked up her worry and questioned her

"You began the trials. Now you are injured in a way that I cannot heal. That Castael can not heal" She admitted in a whisper, resting her head on Sam's chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Her twitching wings calmed under his gentle hand as he stroked them, smoothing out a few feathers that had been disrupted by her brother's coat.

"Hey, it'll be fine. Don't worry." Sam cooed into her hair, kissing the top of her head. "So, tell me about where you were for the last two weeks"

They talked for hours, eventually finding themselves back on the roof. They sat beside each other on a sleeping bag they had brought up to make it a little more comfortable, Sam with his arm wrapped tight around her waist. Now and again Levanael would flit her wings against his arm, but he would only lift it for a moment before settling it back into place. She could tell he was simply trying to apologize for the argument before she had left, and she had to admit that the contact was a welcome comfort. They had stopped talking a long time ago, Levanael watching the skies and Sam watching her.

Levanael became aware of her surroundings again when Sam placed a soft kiss on her neck, his hair trailing against her cheek light enough to tickle her. Giggling, she looked up at him as he leaned in for another kiss, holding her chin as he smiled against her lips. Sam slowly pressed her down so she was laying beneath him, breaking away to catch his breath. He faltered at the confused look that had spread across her face, her wings still tucked tight under her

"I love you, Levanael" Sam whispered, glad that it was dark so she couldn't see the blush on his face. "I want to show you that" His hands trailed up her shirt as he kissed her again. Levanael was at a complete loss of what to do and simply followed his lead. She loved him as well, as she did Dean and Castiel. But Dean was always teasing Sam about how he was much more into the 'touchy feely crap', that perhaps this was the way he chose to show it to her. So she didn't say anything as he gently pulled her clothes off, or as he took his off either. He was warm against the night's chill and she followed his actions by wrapping her arms around him, naturally curling up against his skin and tucking her head against his shoulder. Nor did she say anything as he laid back on top of her and began to push down into her. She whimpered at first at the pain, Sam whispering to trust him, that he wouldn't hurt her. The pain slowly began to melt into something else as the man on top of her began to move, not exactly pleasure but still something that her body started to seek out.

They moved together until Sam started to twitch, moving faster and a little harder before he shuttered and she felt something warm within her. After another minute Sam lifted himself, giving one last ghost of a kiss on her lips before dressing himself and offering his hand to help her up and get dressed as well

"You're beautiful, Leva. I love you" Sam whispered as he lead her back in go to sleep. Levanael glanced up at the stares once more, begging for some sort of explanation of what had just happened as well as to why there was such a hollow pit forming within her stomach. For the first time in thousands of years, she allowed herself to send out prayer to the man she had loved so long ago. She smiled as a few shards of memories slipped into place, the joy covering the realization of others shattering closer to the surface

* * *

"You look like shit" Sam glanced up from the piece of toast he was trying to get himself to eat as Dean walked into the kitchen. Dean was holding a damp cloth to the side of his face and silently flicked him off as he grabbed a glass of water. "Leva had another night terror last night?"

"Yeah, they're getting even worse. She's pulling more of her grace, which makes her stronger and worse off each time" Dean rummaged around in the pantry and pulled out a bottle of whisky

"Dude! It's 9 in the morning!"

"It's for the cut. I swear." Dean splashed some on the towel that he held before putting it back up to the three inch gash along his cheek

"Fuck man. What happened?"

"You know how we agreed to tie her down across her waist so she couldn't fly around and hit anything again?"

Sam nodded. They all hated it, but they were also all desperate for something to protect her. This had been nearly constant for days, ever since Castiel returned from hiding the angel tablet. When she wasn't in the middle of a night terror, she was nearly mute in fast growing depression. Castiel was at a loss, attempting to put up a wall in her mind like Death had for Sam, but they had only learned that all of her memories had been broken along with her grace. Her memories and her grace were holding each other together, and Castiel was too afraid to touch them. He feared that if anything broke, then they would lose her forever

"She began to fight it and one of her wings got tangled up. I went to cut the rope and her other wing ended up knocking the knife into my face"

"Shit… how's she now?" Sam tried to hold back another bloody cough, his own condition worsening after completing the second trial

"Asleep, thank fuck"

"I may have found something" Castiel stated, appearing in the doorway with a scrap of paper in his hand. His attention flickered between the brothers before he walked over to Dean. Silently moving his hand aside, Castiel passively examined the wound before passing a finger over it to seal the wound. "You smell like a bar, Dean"

"We didn't have any rubbing alcohol, jerkface. Whaddya got?" Dean pushed Cas's hand away, tossing the towel in the sink. He took the piece of paper and unrolled it, placing it on the table between himself and Sam so they could both get a good view. Castiel mindlessly trailed his hand across Dean's back as he moved to a better position to speak to them. Sam couldn't miss the smile that crossed his brother's face but was cut off before he could make any comment

"I sought out Anael to ask if she could offer a modification to the banishing sigil. She said that it would not work properly since Levanael still has some of her grace left, and that it could do more harm than good. She did, however, show me a way to modify an angel ward to only allow certain angels in. I do not know if it will help with the dreams, but it may be able to bring her some peace"

They talked for a while, discussing how they would lay out the ward and how strong it would be, as well as a spell they would perform in order to guarantee that it would be absolutely safe for Levanael to be near it. Their discussion drifted to Levanael and Sam's conditions, Sam complaining about how the trials felt as if they were destroying him as compared to purifying him. Castiel quickly and sternly reminded him of the copious amounts of demon blood he had ingested against all warnings from both himself and Dean until Dean jumped in and changed the topic to something else. Anything else. An hour later and somehow they got to talking about the movie night they had forced onto Castiel and his new found love for popcorn

"How do you never get sick from eating? You ate a billion burgers with the Famine, and you eat a damn box of popcorn every time you're over here!" Dean laughed, leaning over to take a handful of the stuff from a bowl in Castiel's lap. The group had migrated to the living room. Dean and Castiel were sharing the couch which was peppered with popcorn from Dean picking up handfuls and throwing it at his angel in jest. Sam sat diagonal to them in an oversized chair, for once at rest without his head screaming and actually enjoying himself

"I did not eat one billion burgers. It was within the low hundreds. And I am an angel of the Lord, Dean. Do not question me" Castiel stated calmly before dumping the popcorn bowl on his head. The brothers burst out laughing as Castiel smiled one of his rare genuine smiles, though it faded a moment after. The abrupt change of mood caught Sam and Dean off guard and they both jumped up on high alert.

"Levanael is having another dream" Castiel stated right before a piercing scream echoed down the hall. In an instant they were racing to the room to find what was becoming a far too common sight. Levanael had pinned herself into a corner of her room, her eyes wide in unseeing fear. Her wings were high and against the wall, and any spook would lead to her either knocking herself out through the use of her grace, breaking a wing, again, or both

"Sam, stay back" Dean warned, cringing at the pain that flickered across his brother's face. "I know, but last time she freaked even worse when you took her hand" They watched as Castiel slowly advanced towards his sister, speaking softly as she began to hyperventilate and babble in a language they couldn't recognize

"She thinks that I am one of her attackers" Castiel admitted, lowering his hand to the ground to materialize and drop his sword. "Dean, I need you to try. I believe she is speaking to you"

"Why me?"

"She is asking 'Where is the one who shall do no harm?' She is asking for the Righteous Man. You"

Levanael continued to speak quickly in the language that Dean couldn't quite place until Sam spoke up from the doorway he was in

"Is she speaking in Hebrew?"

"Ancient Hebrew. She is saying a prayer to Father begging forgiveness. Only she is also begging you to right her, Dean" Castiel translated, his shoulders falling limp as he took another tentative step forward. Levanael answered in another terrified shriek before settling into a chant like cry

"Cas?" Dean prompted as he slowly made his way forward, offering his hand out to the panicked angel. Her wings slowly drifted lower and lower towards the ground, which any other time would be taken as a good sign except for the fact that the terror stayed within her body

"She is submitting herself to you. She is begging forgiveness" Castiel sounded exhausted

"Hey, Levanael, baby. This is just a dream. You're having a night terror. You need to wake up" Dean spoke softly as if he was addressing a wounded animal. The chanting continued as she lowered herself to her knees, bowing her head and raising her arms, hands palm up in offering to him.

"Levanael. You've done nothing wrong. You're forgiven. We all forgive you for whatever you feel like you did. But you need to wake up now, ok? We're gonna wake up and get washed up and you're gonna put some clean clothes on and we're gonna go out on a drive. A nice long drive and you can have the windows down like you like and we can listen to music and you can sing along. But first you have to get up" Dean continued to speak softly, remembering how Sam would do the same for him when they were kids and he would have nightmares of their mother's death

Levanael twitched slightly, as if she had been shocked as she finally snapped out of her terror. Dean instinctively grabbed her shoulders to steady her and she looked up, a weak smile crossing her face as she slunk to the side to sit more comfortably. Her wings stayed low in their submissive stance as she looked around the room, lifting a limp hand towards Castiel who immediately crossed the room and sat with her. She curled one of her wings around her brother in a hug as he began to speak quickly to her in a hushed undertone. Dean took the moment to join Sammy in the doorway. Levanael's only answers to Castiel were in the form of a stiff nod or shake of the head before allowing herself to be lifted and put back into bed to rest a little longer

"Come," Castiel muttered as he walked through Sam and Dean, looking even more exhausted than Levanael. "Let's get this over with"


	4. Repent Ye, and Turn Away

The ward worked

Sort of

Her night terrors lessened to three or four a week, but her depression didn't get any better. She had taken to not speaking for days on end. Sam was on a research bender for the last trial and healing a fucking demon, so it was just Dean and Cas in the kitchen while Levanael stared blankly at the tv. Dean watched her for a moment before laughing at his own stupidity

"What is it?" Cas asked, looking up from his coffee with his characteristic head tilt. Dean grinned and kissed him as he stood

"I'm such an idiot! I can't believe I didn't think of this before"

"You are not an idiot, Dean. You are a very smart man" Dean rolled his eyes, tossing his cup into the sink and raking his hand through his angel's hair, tilting his head back to expose his neck

"Nevermind, babe" He nipped at Cas's skin before making his way over to Levanael

'Want to talk?' Dean signed, sitting in the chair across from her. Levanael watched him for a moment before shrugging

'I am so tired, Dean. I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. It hurts to talk' She signed back before faltering and looking up at him in awe. 'You know sign language. You know sign language!' Levanael grinned in excitement before settling down again 'How do you know sign language?'

"After my mother died, I didn't speak for a while. Dad taught it to me, and I've just sort of kept at it. I thought that maybe it would help some. Sam doesn't know ASL though"

'Good. I have no interest in speaking to him' Levanael all but growled with her hands before returning her attention to the tv. Dean sat back and watched it with her for a while, smiling to Cas when he walked through the room and passed his hand over Dean's head and along Leva's wings. The tone of the room slowly warmed as Levanael drifted in and out of sleep, Dean flipping over to his beloved Dr. Sexy which received a pillow to the face. Sam came down for dinner, giving a hopeful glance towards Levanael who purposefully avoided him. Instead she tapped Dean on the shoulder and thanked him before leaving the kitchen to eat in her room

"Sign language? Really?" Sam moaned, throwing the book he was still working on the table "You know I can't understand shit"

"That is one of the reasons why Levanael has taken to it with Dean" Castiel shrugged, sipping at his beer. They didn't do anything for him of course, but the taste was intriguing to him and for whatever reason Dean absolutely loved watching him drink. "Would you care to explain why it is that my sister is specifically angry towards you, and no one else?"

"The only thing I can think of is that I said 'I love you' to her when you guys came back from Antarctica. Maybe it's the night terrors. I don't know" Sam lied. He knew exactly what it was, and it was eating him up too. He shouldn't have pushed her for sex, but it just seemed so natural at the time. He should have recognized the signs, but his stupid brain had simply put it down as her being an angel. After all, Dean had filled him in on all the obnoxious details of his first time with Cas one night after he had gotten black out shitfaced drunk. But he was hating himself for what he had done, what he couldn't bring himself to admit, so instead he turned back to his research. When they would make their play, they would have to do it fast

* * *

None of them were exactly expecting fast to be 5 days later. Castiel had gone off to work with Metatron, who had seemed so extremely happy to see Levanael, but she couldn't bring herself to share the same sentiment. She had spent the following hour after their meeting playing the scraps of memories that she had of him in her head, but they were so scattered that it barely made any sense. She was meeting him, writing something for him, waving goodbye. Greeting him in a clean room with a woman in a business suit, answering 'Father commands...'. Watching the stars. Why were the stars mixed into the memories? But she didn't have time for that now. She was helping Dean and Sam cure the demon Crowley

"So, who's your little Tinkerbelle here?" Crowley grinned, bobbing his head towards the pew that Levanael had taken residence in

"My name is Levanael, sister of Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord. I am not afraid of you, demon king" She flared her wings out to try and prove her point

"Oh, feisty one here. No wonder why Moose keeps glancing over at you. You thinking of having some little mooselettes when this is over with?" Crowley taunted until Dean stalked up and slapped him

"Shut it Crowley before I sew your mouth shut"

* * *

Another hour and another dose of blood later, and Crowley was starting to change. Levanael knew that Sam and Dean couldn't see it, but she could. The demon face behind the shield was beginning to slow and blur, almost like a picture that hadn't quite finished loading

"You are changing already" Levanael commented as Sam and Dean stepped outside for some air and a change of scenery.

"Shut it, Tinkerbelle" Crowley growled, fidgeting against his shackles as the angel moved to stand in front of him

"Why do you call Sam 'moose'?"

"Why does he look at you like that?"

"Did you really sell your soul for sexual gratification?"

"Damnit angel, leave me alone!" Crowley roared, causing her to jump in surprise. Her wings flared in annoyance as she jutted her chin out in defiance

"I am an angel of the Lord, demon. You will bow to me" She commanded, staring him in the eye until Crowley glanced behind her at the opening door. Sam walked in on his own, filling the syringe as he walked up to the demon and pinned his head to the side

"Where's Squirrel, Moose?" Crowley hissed at the injection and glared up at the man

"Sam, why does he keep calling you and your brother woodland creatures?"

"He had other things to take care of. And it's a cartoon. I'll show it to you sometime" Sam offered an exhausted smile before walking away to busy himself with some of his weapons. Levanael took her perch back on the pew and continued to watch the changing demon with curiosity as time ticked by

* * *

The aftermath of Abaddon's big show was impressive. There was shattered glass and wood throughout the church, and there were little spots of burning holy oil scattered about. Levanael treaded carefully around them, flapping her wings to snuff the flames out as Sam pulled Crowley back upright in his chair. The now half demon looked shaken from the ordeal and almost grateful as he offered a smile to the man

"You did good back there, Moose." Crowley forced out, his voice still shaking a little "I'll deny it if you ever quote me, but I'm a proud man. I'm proud of you"

"Thanks," Sam mumbled, picking up the can of spray paint that had been knocked to the side in the fuss. He began shaking it as he made his way back over

"Hold on. Uh, w-what's that?" Crowley stuttered, his eyes darting between Sam and Levanael. She settled her wings against her back even as she gave him an odd look

"It's what it looks like" Sam sighed, bending over to patch up the demon trap. They were half way done with the doses. There was no way in heaven or hell that he was going to stop now

"Are you joking? I just saved your life!"

Sam couldn't help but laugh and question Crowley

"Seriously? Me, seriously? We just shared a foxhole, you and I. We beat back the Tet Offensive, outrun the -the Rape of Nanking together! And still you're gonna do me like this?!"

Sam glanced over at Levanael before pushing Crowley's head to the side to give him the injection that had been so rudely interrupted. Crowley began to scream and lash out at him the best he could

"Band of Brothers? The Pacific? None of this means anything to you?" Crowley demanded, looking up at Sam who passively continued to push the syringe down "All those motels, you never once watched HBO, not once? Girls? You're my Marnie, Moose. A-and Hannah! She just, she needs to be loved. She deserves it!" Sam pulled the needle out as Crowley immediately turned to look him in the eye "Don't we all - you, me - we deserve to be loved. I deserve to be loved!" He screamed. It looked as if he was about to cry "I just want to be loved"

They looked at each other for a moment, confused by what had just happened. Levanael laid her hand on Sam's shoulder and whispered into his ear that he was turning quickly, and that his human soul was beginning to resurface

* * *

Two hours later, they were up to Crowley's 7th dose. Levanael had taken to sitting directly across from him, her wings flared out in a friendly manner so that he could study them. She could see his true face now and he looked kind, if not scared and confused. There was still the demon within him, but his human soul was at full battle with it and was beginning to win

"What do I do now?" Crowley whispered, having dozed for a moment. Levanael perked up at his question, her wings flittering to her back as she stood

"Seek redemption" She smiled, reaching hesitantly out towards the once demon. He tucked his chin to his chest the best he could with the collar as she rested her hand on his head. "You seek forgiveness"

Sam started his way over, his footsteps growing heavy as the trial progressed. He looked exhausted, his arms bandaged with what little Levanael could come up with to help with the pain. The angel stepped away as Sam entered into the demon trap

"Would it be possible, Moose," Crowley began, licking his lips before starting again "I'd like to ask you a-a favor, Sam. Earlier, when you were confessing back there," He forced his head up to make eye contact with the man. "What did you say? I only ask because, given my history, it raises the question, 'Where do I start to even look for forgiveness?' I mean," His eyes were wide in sincere confusion and loss, and Sam couldn't help but feel a bit of pity for him

"How about we start with this?" Sam held up the syringe. Crowley only nodded and offered his neck, almost smiling in peace as the needle went in

* * *

Levanael had stepped out for some fresh air, having spent the last 9 hours in the abandoned church. She wouldn't admit to the fact that the shattered window had actually helped a little with making the church a bit more tolerable, but she was just tired of being inside and dealing with blood. The healing demon was almost sad to look upon, the trapped soul buried for so long looking out terrified as to what was going on around it, what it had done, and what would happen now. So she had perched herself up on the hood of the impala, careful to take her shoes off after being yelled at by Dean one too many times, and mapped out the stars in the sky.

Dean suddenly appeared at her side, looking shaken and a panicked. "Where's Sam?" He had to stop himself before he grabbed the scampering angel from his car

"He is inside, Dean. What is wrong?" Levanael looked back in a mix of fear and confusion

"Say here!" He yelled, already booking it inside of the church. She looked back up at the sky, feeling as if something had shifted in the balance of… everything. Her wings instinctively spread out in preparation of flight, confusing her slightly as she glanced over to watch them lift her from the car and lift her almost to the top of the church before she plummeted down. She felt as if she had been stabbed in the chest for a second before Dean came stumbling back out of the church, his arms wrapped tight around his brother

"Sam! I got you, little brother. You're gonna be just fine" Dean tried hide his panic, looking around in a panic as they both collapsed by the car. Dean had stopped trying to pretend he was calm, shaking his brother hard by the shoulders "Sam, Sam? Cas!" He looked over at Levanael who lifted herself quickly and rushed to them, trading places with the angel and running his hand through his hair

"Castiel! Where the hell are you?" He yelled out into the darkness before his eyes settled on the sky. There wasn't supposed to be a meteor shower. Levanael loved those damn things. He would have heard about it for days now. His stomach dropped as he remembered what that bitch angel Naomi had said

"Sam, look at me. I will make it better. Just focus on my. On my voice" Levanael whispered, carefully sitting on his lap to pin his legs down. Layering her arms so that her forearms matched with his, she leaned her forehead against his to allow for them to lock eyes

"What are you doing?" Dean yelled, ripping his eyes from the sky to look around once more

"Something that you would say would be very stupid. Shield your eyes, Dean"

"Leva!" Dean yelled, reaching towards here before being knocked away by an explosion. Regaining his senses a moment later, his eyes focused on the shell of Levanael, limp and bleeding heavily in Sam's arms. Sam went to hug her around her back before jumping back in horror, peeling his arm away from the deluge of blood that painted her shirt a sickly black. Her lower arms were also drenched in what looked like the same pattern as the glowing on Sam's arms

"Sam!" Dean ran back over to his brother and grasped his shoulder, shaking him from his shock for a moment. "Get her in the car and wrap her arms and back. I don't care about blood getting in the car. Just make the bleeding stop, got it?" Sam nodded and scrambled to his feet, cringing at the amount of blood that was covering him. "I gotta find Cas"

Dean ran through the trees, screaming his angel's name. He was growing more frantic by the second because fuck that was a lot of angels and _fuck _that was a lot of blood. And fuck, Cas, this is scaring the shit out of me, where are you buddy? He was about to start freaking out in earnest until he came across the familiar outline of that damned trench coat. Cas was planted in a gap within the trees, staring up at where his family was plummeting to earth. Dean called his name once more, pulling his angel's attention to him. There was a strange lack of emotion on Castiel's face, even less than normal until a dull thud shook the ground and pulled them back to reality. Dean ran to Cas's side and pulled him tight to his chest as the angel cried out in deep, pain filled wails. Castiel gripped Dean's coat tight, clawing at his back for some sort of comfort as his legs began to give out. Dean lowered him slowly to the ground, allowing Cas's screams of pain and horror and rage echo around them until his voice finally gave out.

"I thought I had lost you" Dean gasped through his own tight sobs, clutching Cas's head and kissing him. There was little care or joy in it, only desperation and fear and relief as they both fought for control in the kiss. Once they pulled away Dean could see a small amount of blood on Cas's lip from where he had bit too hard and he smiled, an odd sign that he really was alive. That relief was short lived as the memory of Sam and Levanael crashed down on him

"Shit, _fuck_, Cas, Levanael. We gotta get her to the hospital or something"

Cas looked up at him in fear as they both started running through the forest back towards the church and the car

"I don't know, babe. She healed Sam from the last trial. I think her grace exploded. She's alive, but…" They arrived to the car to find Sam laying multiple shirts across her back to try and stem the blood. He had used all the gauze to wrap her arms.

"Can you?" Sam stuttered, looking up at Cas who could do little but gape in horror

"They took my grace. Metatron took my grace. He did this" Cas whispered, more tears beginning to fall down his face. Dean instantly took his belt off and offered it to Sam to tie the shirts down. Cas offered his tie and the belt of his coat before laying the trench across the back of the car to act as a barrier until they could get back to the compound and see just how bad it was.


	5. Never Let Me Go

On the first day Sam and Castiel held vigil over Levanael, taking silent turns to get water or small snacks for themselves. They had washed Leva's back to see the fine but deep gouges that outlined where her wings had once laid against her skin and the burn marks of the feathers. Dean stayed downstairs and helped Garth take roll call and assess what the hell was going on.

Levanael finally stopped bleeding through her bandages on her back and her arms

* * *

On the second day, Sam fell asleep. Kevin recommended that they try giving Levanael some ice chips to keep her hydrated, explaining that there should be a reflex to keep her from choking as long as they go slow. Castiel began to pass the time by singing songs from Heaven under his breath, and Dean could only stomach visiting for a few minutes before he had to leave and destroy something.

Sam told Leva that he loved her, and he was afraid to think that her lips twitched into a smile

* * *

On the third day they got word that Balthazar and Gabriel were not only alive, but looking for them. Dean and Kevin drove out to meet up with them. Castiel fell asleep for the first time. Sam cried harder than he ever had since Jess died

The scars of Levanael's wings were beginning to develop

* * *

On day four Dean returned with the group. The look in Balthazar's eyes would have made Sam jealous if he wasn't so exhausted. The look in Sam's eyes would have made Balthazar furious if it wasn't so heart renching. Gabriel had more Grace left than anyone else and was able to take some of the pain away.

Levanael's hand curled slightly against Balthazar's the minute he touched her, and Sam had to leave before he punched the angel in the face

* * *

On day five Gabriel convinced Sam to leave for a while and is even able to get him to smile. Castiel ignores Dean's questions as Balthazar kissed and cried into Levanael's hair, begging her to come back to him.

* * *

On the 6th day Dean cried deep, quiet sobs against Cas's chest. Cas held his lover tight against his body, both searching for some of the comfort that came from him within Dean. By the time they were both spent, Dean couldn't help but laugh weakly about finally understanding the term 'making love'. Castiel stayed until Dean fell asleep, singing his devotion to the Righteous Man in enochian as a lullaby. It was a fake secret that Dean didn't know what he was saying.

* * *

On the 7th day Gabriel stood watch over her as the others attempted to get a break from everything. Sam and Dean went into town for a supply run with Kevin. Castiel and Balthazar took council with one another in the forest surrounding the compound. He took more of her pain away before throwing himself into the chair across from her. He told her stories of all the things he had done as Loki until everyone returned, relinquishing his seat to Sam only after offering his lap first. Gabriel filed the blush that Sam had on his cheeks away for blackmail

* * *

On the 8th day, Levanael slept.

* * *

On the 9th day, she mumbled something in French. Castiel didn't have the heart to tell Sam that she was asking for Balthazar. He told Dean everything. Dean accidentally bit hard enough to draw blood that night on Cas's collarbone

* * *

On the 10th day she woke up

Dean blasted into the living room with an idiotic grin on his face. Sam immediately jumped up from his chair and was down the hall before anyone else could comprehend what was going on.

"She's up" Dean continued to grin as everyone cheered in their own way. Kevin actually cheered, Gabe made a joke about sleeping beauty and how Dean is anything but prince charming, Cas gave one of his exhausted but genuinely happy smiles, and Balthazar clapped Cas on the back. The group all but stormed Levanael's bedroom, where Sam had gingerly helped her sit up. They froze when she started to scramble against the headboard, her eyes locked on Balthazar

"My dear, what's wrong?" He asked gently, stepping forward as she fell off the bed

"_You did this to me!__ You made me fall. I love you and you destroyed me_!" She cried in enochian as she scrambled to her feet. Balthazar's shoulders fell enough that was amazing that they were still attached before Castiel moved forward to calm his sister

"Metatron did this to you. He told me so before he took my grace as well. Balthazar has done nothing but search for you"

Levanael leaned heavily against the wall, trying to take in everything that was going on. She was still very weak from saving Sam, who appeared at her side and helped guide her back to her bed. He never relinquished his grip even after she started looking at him in confusion. Hadn't her outburst been a hint to him? Right. Enochian. Still need to figure out why that is happening

"Sam has not left your side for more than an hour or two each day" Castiel explained softly as her eyes drifted down to the death grip Sam had on her hand. She vaguely pulled at her hand before looking back at her twin

"Cas didn't leave or even sleep for the first four days, don't worry" Sam laughed, though his heart dropped as Levanael gaze traveled to the two new angels and mouthed Balthazar's name, still amazed that he had returned.

"We got evicted, so now you're stuck with our joyous asses" Gabriel spoke up quickly, diverting the obvious question as his ever sneaky grin came back "You know you missed this beautiful ass of mine" he teased, running his hand over his butt as everyone else rolled their eyes. Kevin took the moment to leave while Levanael raised her arm to call her middle brother over. The room turned silent as she saw the scars came covering her arms for the first time, pulling her hand away from Sam to compare them. After a moment her eyes opened wide and she began to flail around once more, trying to look at her back.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. It's no big deal" Sam cooed. Everyone froze as all the angels turned to give him an icy glare

"You really are quite the idiot, aren't you?" Balthazar hissed, his fists tight against his side even as Levanael grabbed his arm to hold him still

"Her grace exploded when she saved you, Sam. That should have killed her" Castiel explained in thinly veiled rage. Gabriel cleared his throat with a forced smile as he dug his fingers into Sam and Dean's shoulders and shoved them towards the door

"I'll explain this simply for you, Sammy. You keep thinking Levanael's your girlfriend and everything, and she's not. Her saving you and sacrificing herself for you isn't a sign of love and devotion to you. It's her saving her brother's boyfriend's brother. She will never be able to get her grace back. So it's a big fucking deal"

"What do you mean she's not my girlfriend?" Sam demanded, shoving Gabriel's hand off his shoulder as he turned back to face the room

"I was being your friend" Levanael whispered, shoving her arms under the blanket so the marks couldn't be seen. "I was following your lead. I never meant for you to think anything else. Balthazar and I are bound" She was cowering against Balthazar's side, making Sam only want to punch him more as the angel stroked her hair

"Sammy," Dean started as Balthazar laughed

"Oh Sammy boy, don't you remember how bad Cas was when he first came around? Gabe and I only know how to act 'cause we've _been around_ awhile."

"But friends don't..." Sam's voice trailed off as a cold pit began to form in his stomach

"We've learned all those fine lines and nuances between friendship and relationship" Balthazar sighed, placing his hand on Levanael's back. She flinched hard and he immediately moved his hand to her shoulder. Sam ran has hand through his hair before being lead out of the room by Dean and the door slammed in their face by a flick of Gabriel's grace

"Dude, I'm sorry, but Levanael-"

"I think I may have raped her" Sam admitted softly, staring at the door

* * *

If Dean could have, he would have punched his fist through Sam's skull.

"Come again?" He hissed, only vaguely aware of the fact that Sam hadn't even attempted to protect himself or the blood running freely down the hand that his little brother held to his face. Only this was no longer his brother. Little Sammy would have never

"I... She never-"

The second punch broke Dean's hand.

"You should leave" Dean hissed, cradling his hand as he stared down Sam. Sam nodded and started towards his room.

"Leave!" Dean roared, barely aware of the door behind him opening and Balthazar standing beside him, sword drawn. Sam flinched at the sight, continuing past his door to take the stairs two at a time before slamming the door shut

"Is she alright?" Dean asked, his fists still clinched at his side. He couldn't stomach looking at anyone for the time being. He had raised Sammy. He had raised him better than this. Hadn't he?

"She hadn't realized that love for humans and love for angels were two different things. She has never been one to stand up for herself. In heaven she was very weak, and now she is more so. She would often simply go with whatever was happening then slip away unnoticed" Balthazar explained in a low whisper. They finally both got the nerve to look back in the room. Levanael had wrapped the blanket in a cocoon around her to hide her scars, her wide eyes peering out from the blanket hood at him

"Will you ever forgive me, Leva?" Dean's voice cracked as she nodded emphatically. He raised his hand to rub his face and gasped in pain, forgetting in the moment that it was broken. Balthazar raised an eyebrow in amusement before tapping his wrist, healing the wound instantly

"We need to get your trench coat lover boy here back his grace before you start thinking I don't hate you" Balthazar teased, clapping his hand on Dean's shoulder before returning to Levanael's side. Dean left the family to talk while he went to punch the living shit out of something in their gym

* * *

"Hey Sammy boy"

Sam almost fell out of his hotel room bed trying to get away from Lucifer. He instinctively dug his thumb into the scar across his palm

"Oh Sam, you know that's useless" He grinned, sitting down in a chair across from him. His vessel had deteriorated to the point that almost his entire face was scabbed over, and there were large patches on his arms and hands "You know just as well as I do that the hallucinations disappeared when Castiel took them from you. And you know that the world is literally, and I do mean actually physically, going to hell in a hand basket since you didn't stop the trials. Though I must admit, you did a wonderful job putting Abaddon where she belongs"

Sam thought he was going to be sick. Lucifer only smiled

"Since you obviously aren't interested in talking, let's get down to business, shall we?"

"The answer is no, Lucifer" Sam hissed, straightening himself to try and prove his point. He deflated when the devil laughed

"It doesn't work that way, Samster. No take backs. But I'm being nice by asking again. It's so much easier when you say yes. Besides, I've got a deal for you" Lucifer leaned back in the chair and kicked one leg over the other. "You see, I know you love my littlest sister Levanael. And as ruler of Hell, I can command her safe passage though pretty much anything. Abaddon on the other hand... Well, you pissed her off with that holy oil grenade"

"And what lies did you tell your host to get them to agree?" Sam spat, but his guard was starting to fall

"This guy," he gestured to himself, "lost his wife and child. Tragic really. I told him that I could get revenge, and I did. And you can believe me, Sam. I don't want to kill my family. No more than you do"

"You would protect Dean, too?" Sam whispered, and Lucifer knew he had it in the bag

"He must shoot first. Sam, we're more alike than you'd ever believe. Both kicked out by our big brother for loving too much, both called things we know we're not, both simply wanting to return home"

"And Cas"

"And your three wishes are up. So, what's your decision?"

Sam hated himself. Dean would kill him for this. Dean also wanted to kill him for sleeping with Levanael. There was the slight moaning of bed springs and Lucifer's hand was over his own

"I am many things, Sam. But I do not break promises" He took Sam's knife from the bedside table and cut down his palm "I swear Levanael protection from all harm. I swear that no harm shall come to Dean Winchester or Castiel unless they act first"

Lucifer offered the blade and his hand "So, is that a yes?"

* * *

**So! I'm going on a cruse for the next week. I'm being evil and ending on a cliffhanger =D I'll be working on parts of the next couple of chapters while I'm flying out/on the boat/whatever. I'm excited about where this is going right now. I should update on the 24th or so. Loves! -LC1**


	6. The First Pawn Has Fallen

The first angel death was confusing. A low level angel who had appeared to be doing nothing but eating ice cream before dying. The news was confused as hell, as were the resident angels. The best they could guess was that it had been someone who was angry and bitter and lashed out. The second and third came the day after. Again, it was angels who had been doing nothing, but Balthazar could remember them as being friendly to the human cause.

Reports of demons traveling in packs started coming in through Garth, and they immediately called up Crowley who had been moved to the remnants of Bobby's house and locked in the panic room. He swore he had no part of it, that he had been effectively rendered powerless by Sam's botched healing. With more information he was able to tell them that the demons appeared to be heading towards more or less one of their command centers, which was hardly any comfort at all. It was obvious that everything was going to shit, so Dean allowed Garth to do an all call to any hunters that could make it to the compound. This was turning into the 2014 vision all over again, but fuck if Dean would let them live in dilapidated tents hording toilet paper, and Cas turning into a drug addict.

Kevin abandoned searching for the angel trials and started looking for something mentioning the curse that Metatron had performed. The others attempted to help, but it was useless so they gave him the space he demanded. He did start allowing Castiel to translate from enochian after a week of migraines and nosebleeds

Levanael's wounds healed into silvery white scars that she hated with every ounce with her being. She had taken to wearing over-sized jackets, long sleeve shirts, coats, anything that would hide her arms no matter what the temperature was outside. Losing her grace had made her become human, though, which lead her to heat exhaustion on more than one occasion. When they got word of a group of eight hunters on their way, adding to their group of 15, Dean announced they were going on a supply run, and Levanael was coming no matter what. It took her entire family, and a bribe of candy and protection by Gabriel, before she agreed to it.

There was a Wal-Mart about thirty minutes away, and as soon as they entered Dean turned and stopped them both in their tracks. "There are a lot of people here. Human people. Who don't know that you two are angels. So don't be dumb. And you," He jabbed a finger at Gabriel's chest "You are not tricking anyone. You got that?"

He was about to protest, but Levanael pulled at his sleeve with her hand tucked within her own, and he sighed "Ok, fine. But only for my little sis here" Gabriel grinned, messing her hair up before falling in step with Dean. Their trip turned into a legit Wal-Mart adventure, pacing up and down all the aisles to satisfy Levanael's curiosity. There was almost a full on fight when Gabriel came to the candy, attempting to horde it all even as other people were trying to buy some themselves. Dean had to drag him away by the back of his shirt before they got kicked out, Levanael running ahead of them with a bag of gummy bears.

By the time they got to checkout Dean was on the edge of having a meltdown, finally understanding why there were always so many parents screaming at their kids in these places. Herding Gabe and Leva out the door, Dean unloaded their cart into the trunk before Gabriel suddenly took off

"Gabe! Aw, fuck" Dean moaned, looking over at Levanael who was suddenly frozen in place, eyes wide and her face almost gray from blanching. "What's up?"

"Sam is here" Levanael whispered, staring off in the direction Gabe had gone. Dean followed her gaze to see something he hadn't exactly expected. Gabriel had grabbed Sam's shirt and was all but eating his face

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, his heart jumping as Gabe and Sam came towards them. Levanael grabbed Dean's arm hard enough to bruise, hiding behind him even as he tried to calm her down

"Hey," He smiled like a big puppy even as Levanael continued to back away from them. Gabriel sent her a confused look before glancing back up at Sam before gasping and materializing his angel sword

"Oh now, that's hardly necessary. We simply wanted to say hello!" Sam suddenly stood tall, a cold smile plastered across his face as he turned to Gabriel. "I never knew you felt that way about me, Gabby."

"You are still one huge bag of dicks, you know that?" Gabriel spat, moving to stand between Dean and Levanael. Dean was locked in place with his rage. Lucifer was back, and in his Sammy's body. In his true vessel. Which was not going to end well for anyone

"Littlest sister, are you really that afraid of me?" Lucifer looked over everyone's head to Levanael. "I don't understand why. I'm here to protect you. You see, Dean, you really did a wonder by kicking your brother out" His head tilted to the side as his eyes locked onto Dean before flicking him to the side "You hurt little Sammy here beyond repair. You kicked your own brother out for loving someone besides you! Now doesn't that sound familiar, Gabriel?"

"Bite me" Gabriel growled, continuing to back away and shield Levanael with his body

"After that show back there? I just might" Lucifer laughed, snapping his fingers to lock everyone in their place "But that is for another time and place. Now, if you'll allow, I have a promise to fulfill. I promised that sissy here wouldn't be harmed by anything, and I need her assistance to finish that"

"I do not trust you, Devil" Levanael hissed through clenched teeth. Lucifer offered one of Sam's puppy grins in return

"I did all of this for you. You will be able to pass through Hell itself and not be touched without the demon being killed" Sam's body explained, grasping Levanael's wrists much harder than what was necessary. A blinding light flashed through her body before settling on her scars. "There. All done. Just show your marks and you're good" Lucifer smiled as he snapped his fingers again and disappeared

Levanael peeked under her sleeve before yanking them even further down her arms and turning silent. Gabriel offered a guiding hand on her shoulder back to the car only to be met with a punch directed at his face. He dodged it easily but he and Dean both go the point, stepping aside to allow her into the car on her own. The drive home was silent save the static on the radio and sporadic fits of rage from Levanael in the back

* * *

Levanael stormed through the crowded compound with enough visible anger that even Ryan, the resident hard-ass, stepped to the side. The slamming door to her room echoed through the silent room, as well as splintering furniture until Dean and Gabriel came in a minute later with grocery bags. Everyone quickly busied themselves with putting things away, sending questioning looks over now and again until Gabriel sighed in his ever overly dramatic way and left to find Balthazar

"Oh brother!" Gabe called as he found Balthazar and Castiel working with Kevin on his translations. It was going much faster for Kevin to only partially translate them into enochian, leaving the rest to the angels to piece together what was left. They hadn't been able to find anything directly about what Metatron had performed, so they had gone back to translating the entire tablet in hopes of finding some sort of hint. Everyone looked up as Gabriel leaned against the doorway

"Balthy, your girlfriend is throwing a fit upstairs"

"What is wrong?" Castiel asked as both angels stood. Kevin took advantage of the distraction for a much needed break, laying his head down on the table

"We ran into Samifer in town. Said-"

"Samifer?" Kevin asked the table. Balthazar tensed at the look in Castiel's eyes

"Lucifer's vessel is our very own Sam" Gabriel explained with a wave of his hand, digging out a heath bar with his other hand and opening it. "Anyway, he said something about warding our sis against demons, then she got all pissy" He took a ridiculously large bite of candy before speaking again, his speech jumbled from the food in his mouth. "Personally, I think she just needs a good bang-"

The sliding of metal into Balthazar's hand halted Gabriel for a moment with a full body eye roll

"Sorry, 'gentle love making' and-"

"Gabriel, do not speak of my twin so." Castiel demanded in a low even tone that only came when he was truly angry

"Geez, all y'all need a good bang. Laters!" Gabriel tossed up a peace sign as he turned on his heels, hooking his arm around the waist of a girl who had been eying him for days. Balthazar showed his brother where he was in translating, knocking lightly on their door before opening it slowly

"Darling?" He whispered, looking around for Levanael before finding her sobbing in a mostly hidden corner of the room, surrounded by the remnants of a chair and desk

"Playing hiding games without me?" He attempted to joke as he picked his way carefully to her side and crouched in front of her

"Sam says he did all of this for me, and he marked me. He chose to destroy the world to 'protect' me, Ba'al" Levanael whispered as she pulled her shirt over her head to reveal her now bruised colored scars crossing her body. Balthazar settled his knees on the floor and hugged her tight to his chest

"Dear, you know that Lucifer does nothing but lie and hurt all those around him. Don't listen to him"

"And this?" She spat, shoving her arms up in his face. He simply leaned over and kissed her wrist, trailing one of the lines with his tongue before looking up with a smirk

"Tattoos are hot" He kissed her again as his hands made short work of her exposed bra

"How can you stand to still look at me?" Levanael muttered even as she started to work on her beloved's shirt. He took her mouth into his with a laugh

"You care too much, dear. You always have" He lifted and carried her to their bed, setting her on his lab and slowly ground his hips into hers, searching for some sort of friction to relieve his growing need for her. "Besides, how could I not look at you? I elected to bind myself to you, my Moon. I look upon you and fight to not sing your praises unto Heaven" Levanael blushed, burying her face in Balthazar's chest. "There's my silly girl" He breathed as he twisted, laying her down on the bed and making quick work of the rest of their clothes. Levanael became more and more shy as their clothes came off, covering herself with her hands until Balthazar pulled the blanket over them both. He slowly trailed a hand up and down her arm until she relaxed

"Sam took me" She admitted for the first time out loud, clinching her eyes shut in fear and memory. Balthazar soothed her with a kiss on her shoulder

"It was not by your choice. We needn't do anything you are not comfortable with" He whispered, moving away from her to prove his point. She immediately turned and pulled his hips against hers, looking up at him in a mixture of fear and hope. Balthazar chuckled, his tongue lazily exploring her mouth as he pressed into her. He had slept with plenty of partners throughout his time here on earth, both male and female, and of course some had been better than others, but joining with the one he had already partially bound himself to was something completely different. Levanael could feel the difference as well, her body relaxing around his as she began to wrap herself around him, searching for every point of contact that they could find.

There was a comforting, vaguely familiar warmth that slowly crept into Levanael's body as Balthazar's grace began to envelop them both. She could feel it flow throughout every one of her arteries and veins, working its way through her fingers and toes and into every one of her cells. She had never realized how powerful of a feeling it was until Balthazar whispered in her ear to breathe. Gasping a laugh, she opened her eyes before her breath caught again

"_Your wings,_" She whispered in enochian, surrounded in a cocoon of velvet color. Her reference instinctively caused Balthazar to flair his wings out in pride and dominance before he corrected them into a more open and equal stance, one that was intimate and only shown to family and mates. All but purring, Levanael pressed herself tighter against Balthazar's body to examine him.

His three pairs of wings told her that he had been promoted to the top ranking of angels, and her pride and joy reverberated against the grace that pulsed through her body. The uppermost set of wings were his original set, the pair that all angels were born with and described their personality at an almost intimate level. Balthazar's wings copied those of a peacock's tail and came in layers like her own, starting with a rich green on top before fading into gold, light blue then a royal purple. Most of her sisters had seen his wings as gaudy and attention seeking, while she had only ever seen them as mesmerizing and brilliant. His third set, which was actually the second set that he could have received, was also something that was of no surprise to her. They were more or less wings of identification and rank. He was a warrior of Castiel's garrison, and they all shared the same rich raven wings of their group. It was Balthazar's middle set, the ones that he would have received with his last promotion that caught Levanael's attention and her breath.

His feathers were etched out of what appeared almost like golden stone with streaks of red and a deeper brown, though her tentative fingers betrayed the fact that they were, indeed, feathers. They were all but enveloping her already, but contact by Levanael's hand sent such a strong pulse of pleasure that Balthazar momentarily lost control of his grace, blasting out a few light bulbs and receiving a loud curse from the hallway of some poor passerby. Laughing, they settled against one another on their sides, never slipping from one another as they slowed their passion to easy languid movements. It was the third set of wings that was the most telling of an angel, always showing their devotion to one of two things, and never unfurled until the owner was ready

"Sandstone is yielding but steady, showing the stories of millennium within its layers" Balthazar whispered, one hand cupping the back of her head while the other dipped into the small of her back. She instinctively wrapped one leg around his hip as her fingers trailed over the top curve of his wings. Her fingers buried themselves within the vibrating warmth as Balthazar began to lose control of himself again "It is you, beloved. I have forever devoted myself to you." He was barely able to complete his sentence before shuttering hard and releasing himself within her. Thrusting hard and fast, Levanael came a few minutes later, her back arching her body against his as Balthazar wrapped his wings around her in possessive support.

They laid like that for a while, in a tight bundle of limbs and feathers until a soft rumble woke Levanael from her drifting sleep

"Dear, let me get the blanket if you are to sleep" Balthazar whispered, slowly withdrawing his wings and settling them into the middle realm which they stored them normally. Never quite opening her eyes, she felt the heavy blanket cross over their bodies before Balthazar's arm settled across her waist over top. Nuzzling her head back against his chest, Levanael began to sing one of the few songs from home that was not of praise unto their Father and earth. It was one of love between two individuals that she whispered into his chest, adjusting itself when Balthazar began to hum along as well. It was this way that they lulled themselves to sleep for the night, leaving Dean to deal with the perv with the bleeding eyes on his own.


End file.
